I suppose it is time for me to start telling the story of my trip to Asia. Some of it has been written here, but I have yet to share the whole thing, and I need to, because there is much work to be done. The video posted above is a young girl that I've met, both stateside, and in Cambodia, and her story is incredibly sad and incredibly triumphant. I suppose, then, the goal is to replicate her success as well and as frequently as possible.
So…. First of all, for those of you who don’t know, Cambodia is REALLY far away. I actually crossed the International Date Line for the first time in my life, and we ended up landing in Phnom Penh at about midnight Cambodia time, which is about 10AM, our time (I think). I hadn’t slept on any of the twenty-four hours of flights, nor was I able to sleep when we got there. As we drove to the Sanctuary from the airport, I was shocked to see that the Sanctuary (which is a guesthouse that caters to missionaries and NGO members) is around the corner from numerous brothels, and young girls were clearly available for sale on the street. My first hour in Cambodia and the adventure had begun.
Needless to say, I was exhausted the next day, but we had chosen that day to go to Tuol Sleng and the Killing Fields. These two historic sites are part of the Khmer Rouge occupation of Phnom Penh, and the Cambodians have a very different way of memorializing tragedy than Americans do. Tuol Sleng is a high school that was turned into a detention and torture center during the reign of Pol Pot and, whereas we might tear it down and dedicate a park or a statue, the Cambodians have left everything exactly as it was. There are bloodstains on the floor, torture racks in the yard, shelves and shelves of skulls and bones, and photos of each and every victim. It is quite a gruesome site, a morbid sort of museum. From there, we went to the Killing Fields, where we encountered much the same situation. Ironically, the killing fields in real life are very lush and green and beautiful, but the large depressions in the greenery show where the mass graves have been excavated. We were walked through by a tour guide who explained to us that, after the government had excavated about 26 of the 39 mass graves, they stopped, feeling that the work done was sufficient. He then pointed to the ground and explained that, because of the rainy seasons in Cambodia, the land where we were standing, land that hadn’t been excavated, had blood and bones rising up out of it. That was the moment that my brain began to shut down. I felt as though the victims of the Khmer Rouge were clawing their way up from beneath for their justice, and I had to end the tour there. I spend the rest of that day alternating between tears, and absolute shock and numbness.
I share only a bit of this story because I cannot convey the tragedy and the sadness of the Khmer Rouge atrocities. No matter whose side of the story you believe (and the tribunals are currently convened), the loss of almost 1/3 of the Cambodian population in 4 years is horrific and practically impossible to process. Thus, from my first day in Cambodia, I became unable to contextualize the things I was seeing, unwilling to criticize the people who had survived these nightmares, and, due to the tragedies in my own life, much less able to pass judgment in any fashion whatsoever. If you are unfamiliar with the Khmer Rouge occupation, I strongly recommend a book called, “First They Killed My Father.” It is a moving account by a woman who, as a child, survived the occupation, and is told as a child would tell it, uncensored, and with all the innocence and subsequent loss apparent in her story.
There is so much more to say, but it will wait for now. Please stay tuned, and forward these notes. Awareness is the first step; action is the second. Thank you, and God bless.
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Sunday, August 7, 2011
Airbrushing..... is it legal? Or even nice?
There's been a lot of buzz these days about the response to airbrushed photos. Growing up with a family member who was a supermodel, I've always been keenly aware that the photos we see in magazines are not reality. Sadly. however, it didn't make me want to look like them any less. The reshaping of women's (and men's) bodies through graphic contouring, the shading of nonexistent muscles, and the reduction of unsightly bulges has probably contributed more to the problems of body dysmorphic disorder, anorexia, bulimia, and the overprescription and overuse of diet pills, nutritional supplements, and "natural" weight-loss products than any other behavior in our society. But that's neither here nor there.
The question at hand today has to do with facial photos, particularly those that advertise skin care products. Is it fair to show a consumer an ad for a moisturizer that features an individual who has clearly used Botox, Restylane, Juvederm, and God knows what else to create that youthful, firm skin... the same skin that the manufacturer seems to imply is due solely to the product being advertised? How is that NOT false advertising? Julia Roberts is 43.... do we really think this comes from just cold cream?
Andie MacDowell's 52.... REALLY????
Several years ago, I made the decision to give Botox a try, primarily because, in the long run, it was cheaper than what I was spending on all the various creams, masks, serums, and cleansers. When people ask me how I still look so young, I tell them I use Botox. If I told them it was due to my moisturizer, wouldn't I be lying? How come it's lying for me but not for the skin care manufacturers? We have a whole host of regulations against false advertising, but somehow this isn't that? I call bulls**t.
And, by the way, as sad as it is that we place such a high value on physical beauty, why are we compelled to leep the tools we do have a secret, so that those who haven't locked on to the scam just end up feeling wholly inadequate and un-"fix"-able? It's like "Mean Girls" for grown-ups. Come on, ladies (and men), let's at least be honest with each other. If there are good products that are being used, let's share the wealth, but let's not try to mislead each other into believing that we don't color our gray hair, get professional help for our wrinkles, and occasionally have to eat salad for a week to get into our Friday night outfit. Dishonest!
Love it. Thanks, Debenham's!
The question at hand today has to do with facial photos, particularly those that advertise skin care products. Is it fair to show a consumer an ad for a moisturizer that features an individual who has clearly used Botox, Restylane, Juvederm, and God knows what else to create that youthful, firm skin... the same skin that the manufacturer seems to imply is due solely to the product being advertised? How is that NOT false advertising? Julia Roberts is 43.... do we really think this comes from just cold cream?
Andie MacDowell's 52.... REALLY????
Several years ago, I made the decision to give Botox a try, primarily because, in the long run, it was cheaper than what I was spending on all the various creams, masks, serums, and cleansers. When people ask me how I still look so young, I tell them I use Botox. If I told them it was due to my moisturizer, wouldn't I be lying? How come it's lying for me but not for the skin care manufacturers? We have a whole host of regulations against false advertising, but somehow this isn't that? I call bulls**t.
And, by the way, as sad as it is that we place such a high value on physical beauty, why are we compelled to leep the tools we do have a secret, so that those who haven't locked on to the scam just end up feeling wholly inadequate and un-"fix"-able? It's like "Mean Girls" for grown-ups. Come on, ladies (and men), let's at least be honest with each other. If there are good products that are being used, let's share the wealth, but let's not try to mislead each other into believing that we don't color our gray hair, get professional help for our wrinkles, and occasionally have to eat salad for a week to get into our Friday night outfit. Dishonest!
Love it. Thanks, Debenham's!
Saturday, February 12, 2011
A lot of talk
Many days between posts, much to think about. Where we are going, what we are doing, how we can help. We will be joining Asian Hope to help them in their quest to bring peace and progress to the Cambodian people, and to address root causes of trafficking in the sex trade. We are terribly excited, but I am nervous, too. I wonder how God has decided that I am capable of taking on such huge responsibilities. I plan to do my best, but I'm not going to lie. I am scared of failing.
One thing I feel sure of, though, as I've dug into this trafficking issue. There is a LOT of talk. There is a huge number of NGOs that are doing nothing but talking. And I get that education, debate, raising awareness is all important, but isn't the action part MORE important? I mean, really, particularly in the United States, if we're going to have some kind of summit, or resolution on trafficking, it's just going to turn into a political platform, and jam up the government for the next two to four years. Why aren't more compelled to take the money their donors are giving them and DO something? Seriously. Here's someone doing more than talking the talk in Cambodia.
One thing I feel sure of, though, as I've dug into this trafficking issue. There is a LOT of talk. There is a huge number of NGOs that are doing nothing but talking. And I get that education, debate, raising awareness is all important, but isn't the action part MORE important? I mean, really, particularly in the United States, if we're going to have some kind of summit, or resolution on trafficking, it's just going to turn into a political platform, and jam up the government for the next two to four years. Why aren't more compelled to take the money their donors are giving them and DO something? Seriously. Here's someone doing more than talking the talk in Cambodia.
This is a little girl helping to build her own school at Andong, a village to which Cambodians were forcibly relocated in 2006.
This is the village for which the school is being built. This entire effort has been organized by one young man named Abraham, formerly a gang member, now serving Christ. He has been roofing these houses, one by one, at a cost of $300 each, When we met him, he had 40 houses to go. The next projects will be drainage and clean water. Please let me know if you would like to help with this project. For more on Andong's history and Abraham's story, see http://www.photosensibility.com/2009/03/03/andong-village-story/
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
East Texas justice
A better day for me today. Child Protective Services went away happy the other night, and I'm making headway on plans for both mission work in Cambodia, and business and mission work on St. Kitts. So how about a funny lawyer story?
My first pro bono case ever, when I was working in San Antonio, involved a familial kidnapping. The children in question, two little girls, had gone to visit their aunt for two weeks during summer vacation, after which the aunt refused to return them to her brother, their father, claiming that she could give them a better home than he could. We do a lot of crazy stuff in Texas, but we don't usually take kids from their parents just because they're poor. Thankfully, since I'd only been out of law school for a couple of years, it was a slam-dunk case. The aunt didn't have standing and the Court she'd filed in didn't even have jurisdiction. Easy dismissal, so I drove to East Texas, where the case was scheduled.
I walked into the cutest little courthouse ever, only to realize that, while I was there by myself, the girls' aunt had invited practically her entire church congregation. No problem, though, the law was on my side, and so I stood up and explained to the judge why he needed to dismiss the case; the Court lacked jurisdiction, the plaintiff lacked standing, and the pleadings were false on their face. The judge asked us both into his chambers. Uh-oh....
I will never forget this speech as long as I live. You'll have to imagine the swamp-side accent.
"Now, little lady,I do not want you to feel like you are being hometowned, but I have known this gentleman here my entire life. He is a former federal judge, former federal prosecutor, and I have no reason to believe that anything he tells me is anything other than the God's honest truth."
Needless to say, I was not reassured, which was good intuition on my part, because he proceeded to completely dismiss the entire Texas Family Code, and order a trial date. Thank God for my brilliant law professors, because I had other tools in my toolbox, and ultimately had the case moved to Houston, where it was subsequently dismissed. The girls were returned to their father, but I will never forget that judge, and the lesson he taught me. Justice may be blind, but it's also sometimes dumb.
I wonder what that judge is doing now....
My first pro bono case ever, when I was working in San Antonio, involved a familial kidnapping. The children in question, two little girls, had gone to visit their aunt for two weeks during summer vacation, after which the aunt refused to return them to her brother, their father, claiming that she could give them a better home than he could. We do a lot of crazy stuff in Texas, but we don't usually take kids from their parents just because they're poor. Thankfully, since I'd only been out of law school for a couple of years, it was a slam-dunk case. The aunt didn't have standing and the Court she'd filed in didn't even have jurisdiction. Easy dismissal, so I drove to East Texas, where the case was scheduled.
I walked into the cutest little courthouse ever, only to realize that, while I was there by myself, the girls' aunt had invited practically her entire church congregation. No problem, though, the law was on my side, and so I stood up and explained to the judge why he needed to dismiss the case; the Court lacked jurisdiction, the plaintiff lacked standing, and the pleadings were false on their face. The judge asked us both into his chambers. Uh-oh....
I will never forget this speech as long as I live. You'll have to imagine the swamp-side accent.
"Now, little lady,I do not want you to feel like you are being hometowned, but I have known this gentleman here my entire life. He is a former federal judge, former federal prosecutor, and I have no reason to believe that anything he tells me is anything other than the God's honest truth."
Needless to say, I was not reassured, which was good intuition on my part, because he proceeded to completely dismiss the entire Texas Family Code, and order a trial date. Thank God for my brilliant law professors, because I had other tools in my toolbox, and ultimately had the case moved to Houston, where it was subsequently dismissed. The girls were returned to their father, but I will never forget that judge, and the lesson he taught me. Justice may be blind, but it's also sometimes dumb.
I wonder what that judge is doing now....
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Still angry
I've been working on my MBA for a little over a year, with a ton of support from my husband, and, of course, understanding from my kids. I'm gone almost every Monday and Wednesday night, to pursue another degree that we hope will benefit our family and our work in Kingdom growth somehow. I was driving to school last night, talking to Stephen on the phone, when I heard him answer the front door and then say, "Suzanne, Child Protective is here about Savannah."
Some of you know Savannah; more of you don't. She is our precious six-year-old, the happiest child on the planet, who loves everyone and loves life. She also has special needs. Less than two weeks after Savannah was born, she was diagnosed with Wolf-Hirschhorn syndrome, a rare chromosomal disorder, that affects kids in more ways than we can count. Seizures, deformities, developmental delays, brittle bone syndrome, to name but a few, and, of course, failure to thrive, which apparently prompted someone in a medical provider's office to call CPS and report that Savannah was losing weight and looked "unhealthy." You think?
On top of having Wolf-Hirschhorn syndrome, she also has strep throat. Of course she looks unhealthy. What irritates me about this, though, is that (a) it just plain hurts. I don't like having to think about Savannah's disabilities, but more so, (b) while I understand that medical providers are one of the groups that are required to report suspected abuse by law, I also know that, had this person taken 5 minutes to look at Savannah's medical chart, he or she would have seen the diagnosis, and saved themselves, and us, a whole lot of heartache.
Long though the CPS interview was, it turned out fine, of course. We work hard to make sure that our kids have everything we need, and I know Savannah couldn't have better parents than Stephen and I, but I remain frustrated at how quick people are to judge, and how insensitive they are to their impact on the world around them. My friend, Anna, posted the video below on her Facebook page today, and it reminded me that I have still something to say about yesterday.
Think before you judge.
Some of you know Savannah; more of you don't. She is our precious six-year-old, the happiest child on the planet, who loves everyone and loves life. She also has special needs. Less than two weeks after Savannah was born, she was diagnosed with Wolf-Hirschhorn syndrome, a rare chromosomal disorder, that affects kids in more ways than we can count. Seizures, deformities, developmental delays, brittle bone syndrome, to name but a few, and, of course, failure to thrive, which apparently prompted someone in a medical provider's office to call CPS and report that Savannah was losing weight and looked "unhealthy." You think?
On top of having Wolf-Hirschhorn syndrome, she also has strep throat. Of course she looks unhealthy. What irritates me about this, though, is that (a) it just plain hurts. I don't like having to think about Savannah's disabilities, but more so, (b) while I understand that medical providers are one of the groups that are required to report suspected abuse by law, I also know that, had this person taken 5 minutes to look at Savannah's medical chart, he or she would have seen the diagnosis, and saved themselves, and us, a whole lot of heartache.
Long though the CPS interview was, it turned out fine, of course. We work hard to make sure that our kids have everything we need, and I know Savannah couldn't have better parents than Stephen and I, but I remain frustrated at how quick people are to judge, and how insensitive they are to their impact on the world around them. My friend, Anna, posted the video below on her Facebook page today, and it reminded me that I have still something to say about yesterday.
Think before you judge.
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Insomniac musings
I'm sure that, right about now, my husband is kicking himself for not asking about my sleep habits in more detail. In times of high stress, I tend to act very calm and relaxed during the day, storing up all my madness until well after everyone's asleep, and I have no one to talk to. So here we are.
I keep thinking about this Cambodia thing, and what I've been called to do there (ummm..... stop human trafficking and heal the scars of the Khmer Rouge regime??:) and of course, St. Kitts, and what God has asked us to do there (lift an entire community from a state of apathy and disenfranchisement to create a land of joy and empowerment???) and I go.... OMG.
But, thank you, as always, Mark Batterson, for always allowing me to be on a page of one of your books exactly when I need to be. This is what I just read (trying to fall asleep):
"I can't do what God has called me to do. Not in my own strength. But God never calls us to do something we're capable of. God calls us to do things that are beyond our ability so He gets all the credit. That's how we learn to rely on Him. And that's how we learn to love Him.
All of us love miracles. We just don't like being in situations where we need one. But that is a prerequisite. You will never experience the power of God until you put yourself into a situation that necessitates it. If you want to be filled with His Spirit, you don't have to walk a church aisle. Just walk into a situation that requires His power. Go after a God-ordained dream that cannot be accomplished in your own strength and wisdom."
---- Mark Batterson, Primal
I keep thinking about this Cambodia thing, and what I've been called to do there (ummm..... stop human trafficking and heal the scars of the Khmer Rouge regime??:) and of course, St. Kitts, and what God has asked us to do there (lift an entire community from a state of apathy and disenfranchisement to create a land of joy and empowerment???) and I go.... OMG.
But, thank you, as always, Mark Batterson, for always allowing me to be on a page of one of your books exactly when I need to be. This is what I just read (trying to fall asleep):
"I can't do what God has called me to do. Not in my own strength. But God never calls us to do something we're capable of. God calls us to do things that are beyond our ability so He gets all the credit. That's how we learn to rely on Him. And that's how we learn to love Him.
All of us love miracles. We just don't like being in situations where we need one. But that is a prerequisite. You will never experience the power of God until you put yourself into a situation that necessitates it. If you want to be filled with His Spirit, you don't have to walk a church aisle. Just walk into a situation that requires His power. Go after a God-ordained dream that cannot be accomplished in your own strength and wisdom."
---- Mark Batterson, Primal
Saturday, February 5, 2011
One last thing
Before I left for Cambodia, my 12-year-old, Luc, asked me if I really thought I could stop human trafficking. Without missing a beat, I said, "Of course."
He and I did a book club last year on the book "Sold," and we still sometimes talk about what Lakshmi would have thought about what we're trying to do, and how nice it would be if no child ever had to be sold again. As my trip approached, I told Luc that, even if I only stopped one person from buying one girl, it would be better than not doing anything. And then I asked him to imagine if each person from his middle school sent one family member to Cambodia, or somewhere else that trafficking in children is prevalent, and stopped one sale, even just by taking a picture of a prospective purchaser. That would be another 1000 sales stopped. And what if everyone at our church, a membership of 8 to 10,000 people got in on the action? What if we each did just one thing?
I don't really think I can stop human trafficking, but I would never tell him that. And I do know, for certain, that God can and will. All we have to do is be the hands and feet (and sometimes voices.)
God bless. Good night.
He and I did a book club last year on the book "Sold," and we still sometimes talk about what Lakshmi would have thought about what we're trying to do, and how nice it would be if no child ever had to be sold again. As my trip approached, I told Luc that, even if I only stopped one person from buying one girl, it would be better than not doing anything. And then I asked him to imagine if each person from his middle school sent one family member to Cambodia, or somewhere else that trafficking in children is prevalent, and stopped one sale, even just by taking a picture of a prospective purchaser. That would be another 1000 sales stopped. And what if everyone at our church, a membership of 8 to 10,000 people got in on the action? What if we each did just one thing?
I don't really think I can stop human trafficking, but I would never tell him that. And I do know, for certain, that God can and will. All we have to do is be the hands and feet (and sometimes voices.)
God bless. Good night.
Before I go...
With respect to Cambodia, I want to give a shoutout to Asian Hope and Agape International, both of whom are doing great things to solve the human trafficking problem, from a societal perspective, instead of some of the more futile exercises, like buying a girl's freedom, so her captor is even further incentivized to replace her with a new girl. Comprehensive aftercare, outreach, and education, with a God-sized goal of eradicating trafficking, one community at a time.
Please check out http://www.aim4asia.org/ and http://www.asianhope.org/ and consider supporting what they're doing. I am.
Please check out http://www.aim4asia.org/ and http://www.asianhope.org/ and consider supporting what they're doing. I am.
Spotlight on.....
Ever wonder how a mom could sell her child? Check out a book on the Killing Fields. As late as 1979, seeing your child in a brothel or being trained as a child soldier was a heck of a lot better than seeing her get smashed up against a tree to take care of what amounted to another mouth to feed in a Communist regime, without wasting any ammunition. There's a generation of Cambodians who are still so in survival mode, that I'm not sure we're in any position to condemn them wholesale. Not to say it's okay, just to point out that the child sex trade in Cambodia, specifically, could be a symptom of a deeper problem.
By the way, for those of you who labor under the illusion, as I did, that Western pedophiles comprise the larger customer base, not so much. There are cultural, superstitious underpinnings to the concept of virginity sale. Let's be honest; there are plenty of Western pedophiles roaming the streets of Phnom Penh. My friends and I managed to irritate more than one, but these are stories for another day.
You get the idea of where I'm going, though.....
First of all.....
I guess I should start by saying I'm a lawyer. I don't know that this is going to be a law blog, though, although I'm sure there will be some legal commentary, since that's my day job.
Recently, though, I've been thinking more about not just our justice system, but justice systems worldwide, justice and injustice generally, and what it all looks like to God, to us, and to the people around us. I remember one of my law professors saying once that the law isn't always black and white. i guess what I would say, after ten years of practicing law and observing human behavior, is that, even when it is black and white, the good guys don't always win. And what's worse, is that people watch, and don't do anything about it. We are, at times, a paralyzed society.
So I thought I would share some of my observations, and some of the things I've done to become a less passive observer (and also to do my best to redeem myself, as necessary) and hope that maybe a couple other people will also pick up a ball or two. So far, it seems to work that way in discussion, so maybe it will be even better online. Stay tuned!
Recently, though, I've been thinking more about not just our justice system, but justice systems worldwide, justice and injustice generally, and what it all looks like to God, to us, and to the people around us. I remember one of my law professors saying once that the law isn't always black and white. i guess what I would say, after ten years of practicing law and observing human behavior, is that, even when it is black and white, the good guys don't always win. And what's worse, is that people watch, and don't do anything about it. We are, at times, a paralyzed society.
So I thought I would share some of my observations, and some of the things I've done to become a less passive observer (and also to do my best to redeem myself, as necessary) and hope that maybe a couple other people will also pick up a ball or two. So far, it seems to work that way in discussion, so maybe it will be even better online. Stay tuned!
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